


I Will Mend You And Keep You Sheltered

by rosegoldwords



Category: Big Time Rush
Genre: James Angst, M/M, Non Consensual, Statutory Rape, not graphic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-30
Updated: 2012-10-30
Packaged: 2017-11-17 08:46:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,258
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/549729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosegoldwords/pseuds/rosegoldwords
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"If you're broken I will mend you and I'll keep you sheltered from the storm that's raging on now. And out of all these things I've done I think I love you better now."</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Will Mend You And Keep You Sheltered

**Author's Note:**

> I pretty much wrote this on a whim during school. Very Kames-y and fluffy with some James angst, which everyone should enjoy. Also, it isn't beta-ed so I apologize for any mistakes.

Ever since the Diamonds divorced, James’ dad has the habit of collecting girls ten years younger than him as girlfriends. Half the time, he would tell James, “this one could be your new step mom,” and the other half, he was just looking for a quick bang. It was disgusting to say the least and James vowed to never be like him. Even though he was a flirt and had kissed more girls than he could count, he refused to simply “give it up” to anyone he wasn’t in love with - and certainly not someone ten years younger than him (how gross would it be to screw a six year old? James shudders at the thought). But even though he disapproves of his dad’s lifestyle choice, it’s not like he’s disrespectful to his dad’s flavors of the week, as Kendall calls them. 

Currently, his dad is dating a girl he refers to as Barbie, because she was a blonde bombshell with an amazing rack… and because James never bothered to actually learn her name. It started with a B so he wasn’t too far off, and she seemed fond of the nickname, not knowing he and his friends were secretly making fun of her. But whatever, it wasn’t James’ fault she was dumber than he was - most of his dad’s girls were anyway. But for the most part, James kind of likes Barbie. She’s sweet and made cookies for him after school. Part of him wants Barbie to stick around for a while.

Kendall, on the other hand, detests Barbie. James will never understand why Kendall doesn’t like her, but Kendall simply dislikes her because James likes her so much. So what if she made cookies and smelled good and had pretty blonde hair? Kendall could make cookies… if he tried. And there was no doubt that his colonge smelled just as good as James’… mostly because he took it from James one day. And he had… blonde hair. The point was, Barbie wasn’t that special and she wasn’t going to stick around for long. Everyone knew that. So there’s no reason for James to go on and on about how awesome she is. 

But as much as Kendall hates his jealousy, he knows it’s only because he likes James so much, and just wants James to talk about him that way - not Barbie girl. But James is oblivious to his bitter jealousy, and that’s how Kendall likes it. Sort of. 

He still wants James to notice him, just a little.

Regardless of his feelings towards Barbie, however, Kendall still promises to come over tonight to play video games and spend the night. Mostly because James whines and hits him until he says yes, but Kendall enjoys James’ attention anyway so it doesn’t take much to persuade him. 

Kendall walks over, mostly because it’s a short walk and when he gets there, James’ dad’s car isn’t in the driveway, but Barbie’s stupid girly car is (okay, Mustangs are pretty bad ass, but because it’s Barbie’s car, it’s stupid). He bites back the sudden annoyance and tries to convince himself that Mr. Diamond is at work still and he’ll take her out soon - it is Friday night after all. 

Instead of going to the front door, Kendall decides to look in the window to make sure James is in the living room - and contemplates tapping on it just to scare the crap out of him and get a good laugh in the process. He stops though, seeing Barbie enter the room and rolls his eyes. Doesn’t she have anything better to do? ‘Like leave?’ his subconscious suggests, and Kendall chuckles. His subconscious is funny. 

Deciding to wait until she left before he barged in, Kendall hung by the window watching her and James. She walks in with a plate of cookies and offers them to James, who’s playing Xbox right now. James pauses his game and turns to take a cookie from her, and by now, Kendall thinks she’s going to leave but she sits next to him. Curiously, he continues watching and his eyes widen in shock as she runs her hand through his hair and down his chest. 

There are two things wrong with this - one, she touched his freaking hair. Nobody touches James Diamond’s hair and lives; Kendall almost got his pinky broken when he messed up James’ hair after he spent a good ten minutes fixing it. And two, the fact that this troll is supposed to be in a relationship and she’s more or less feeling up her boyfriend’s son. It’s gross and wrong and unnatural. 

Kendall watches to see what James does next. 

The brunette smiles politely, even though Kendall can tell from far away it’s forced and he’s slightly pissed as he muses his hair back into place. He says something to her and she replies - Kendall doesn’t know what’s going on at this point because he’s horrible at reading lips. Barbie keeps talking and leans in closer to James. And by now, Kendall’s pretty much positive he’s going to puke because she kisses him.

She freaking kisses James - to the point where they’re borderline making out. Much to Kendall’s chagrin, James just sits there. He doesn’t even really react, he just kind of sits there with his eyes open, looking confused as Barbie kisses him. However a moment passes and Barbie breaks the kiss, says something to James who nods in reply, and the two resume kissing. Kendall’s chest aches so bad he’s sure he’s going to die of a broken heart. 

He doesn’t want to see this anymore, he doesn’t want to stick around. So he jumps up and runs back to his house, rushing inside and bolting up to his bedroom where he slams his door shut and throws himself on his bed. He tells his mom he’s sick and she leaves him alone. He lays there for about an hour, just feeling miserable because James kissed someone else when tonight was supposed to be their night. Sure, James kissed a lot of girls but they always stung, and actually witnessing it hurt even more. He feels like a girl but he doesn’t care, and he’s seriously contemplating calling Logan because he thinks his heart is broken beyond repair and he’s going to need surgery. 

After he calms down, he calls to apologize to James for not coming over and make up some lie about having to baby-sit - and hopes that he’ll get some answers as to what in the hell went on tonight because kissing your dad’s girlfriend isn’t okay in his book, or many other books.

But James doesn’t answer. Kendall doesn’t know how to take that, and he just goes to bed with an uneasy stomach.

The next day Kendall comes over James’ house again, but this time he actually goes inside. Barbie greets him but he more or less shrugs her off - he doesn’t have time for this home wrecker. Instead, he simply runs upstairs to his friend’s room, insistent upon finding out just what in the hell happened last night. 

As soon as Kendall enters, James tells him to shut the door - odd because James never has his door shut; something about the air circulating is good for his skin. But Kendall obliges and he plops down on James’ mattress. He watches James’ back as he stands by his mirror, staring at his reflection. Nothing unusual there - expect maybe James isn’t doing is hair for once. He’s just … staring at himself. Like there’s something wrong with what he’s looking at. That alone surprises Kendall, but he doesn’t push on the subject. He’s got bigger fish to fry. 

The two of them make small talk, mindlessly talking about nothing really. James barely being responsive, and soon Kendall can’t wait any longer. “I saw you and Barbie last night.” he says casually, though he really just wants some freaking answers and there’s nothing casual about how he’s feeling. He doesn’t really know what to expect now, or how James will respond, but tackling Kendall down to his bed wouldn’t have been one of his top ten guesses. 

The wind is nearly knocked out of him as all of James’ weight holds him down against the mattress, and as Kendall’s about to snap at him, he notices a look in James’ eyes he hasn’t seen before and he shuts up momentarily. “You can’t say anything!” the brunette gasps, panicked. “Please don’t say a word to anyone - please!”

“Okay, okay, calm down.” Kendall shushes him because if anything, James’ voice will get Barbie running up here. And from the way James sounds and looks right now, that’s the last thing he wants. 

“She’ll be pissed if you know.” James continued, frantically babbling, his voice raising an octave. “And my dad - oh god, my dad-”

Kendall runs a hand - after he wiggles it free - down his arm, shushing him once more. “It’s okay,” he says, but because he’s so damn curious and confused, he has to ask, “What the hell happened dude?”

James is babbling again, but not really saying anything, and Kendall can see the tears welling up in his eyes. “She - she - I didn’t - no.” he finishes miserably, dropping his head down on Kendall’s shoulder. The blonde hears him sniffle but he knows the tears won’t fall. No matter how broken he is, James Diamond doesn’t cry. 

Kendall’s “take control” instincts kick in and he knows what he has to do to get answers. “Did she kiss you last night?” he asked him. The way James scoffs but nods lets Kendall know that more happened. “Did she…” the question I harder to choke out than he expects. “Did she touch you?” he asks softly, as if sharing a secret. James hesitate, but nods. This next question will kill him regardless of the James’ answer is, but he has to ask, “Did you want her to?”

The fact that James shakes his head ‘no’ nauseates Kendall so much, he can’t even begin to describe it.

“At - at first I didn’t mind it,” James stammers, trying to explain what really happened before Kendall takes it upon himself to charge downstairs and beat the bitch with a lamp - even though he’s totally against domestic violence, Barbie deserves it. “I mean, she’s hot and she kissed me, so that was okay. But then she,” James had to pause and take a breathe. “She wouldn’t stop, dude. And I said no but she kept saying it was okay and that I’d like it.” James sniffles again, burying his face in the crook of Kendall’s neck. The blonde had never seen his friend so vulnerable before. “I didn’t like it. I didn’t want her to.” he whimpers softly. Kendall’s neck feels wet a moment later. James is crying now. And Kendall’s pretty sure his heart is broken beyond repair - this time, not because James kissed someone else, but because he’s just so hurt right now. 

For once in his life, Kendall doesn’t know what to do right now. He doesn’t know if he should get James to tell someone, or if he should tell someone. But right now, his instincts were telling him to roll over with James in his arms, and hold him. So that’s exactly what he did. And the two of them laid there like that for the rest of the afternoon, neither of them speaking for a while. And despite all of this going on with James and his step mom, Kendall selfishly is enjoying the fact that he’s laying with James in his arms. He feels bad initially for liking it so much, but the way James is clutching him and snuggling up to him, Kendall knows he likes it too - just a little. 

\- - -

Kendall spends the rest of the weekend over James’ house and Mr. Diamond and Barbie spend it out of the house until the wee hours of the morning - which is fine with the both of them. When Monday rolls around, it’s time for the boys to go back school, despite Kendall trying to talk James into staying home and get himself together. James insists he’ll be okay, but Kendall isn’t so sure. 

James, however, is one hell of an actor. For the most part, throughout the day he’s silent and plays it off like he’s not feeling too well, and Carlos and Logan buy it and don’t press the subject. Neither Kendall or James tell them what really happened on Friday night. 

School comes and goes and later that day at hockey practice, James transforms into a maniac on the ice. He’s scoring goals left and right, skating fast than usual, checking anyone who got into his way. By the time practice is over, he’s dripping with sweat and being praised by his teammates and coach, but he doesn’t feel any better. Kendall can tell it’s going to take more than a rough hockey practice to make him feel better.

The two of them are the last two on the ice when Kendall finally brings it up. “You should tell someone.”

James slaps his stick against a puck hard and it flies into the net easily. “Nope.” he replies. “It’s not going to make any difference; it’s my word against hers and my dad would totally believe her over me.”

Kendall shakes his head. “That’s not right.” James hits another puck, harder this time, and he shrugs. He doesn’t know what to say and neither does Kendall. It sucks big time. “C’mon,” the blonde finally says. “Let’s go to the locker room.” he knows it’s pathetic but it’s a start. And James agrees, following him off the ice.

The locker room is empty when the two enter and they can still talk in private. James’ back is to Kendall as he starts rifling through his bag, pulling his clothes out. And Kendall can’t resist the urge. He walks up behind James and wraps his arms around him, hugging him from behind. James tenses up, stops breathing for a second, but Kendall murmurs, “It’s okay, it’s just me,” to him and James relaxes finally. “I want you to stay at my house tonight.” he says to him.

“Okay.” James agrees immediately. He doesn’t want to be home anymore than Kendal wants him to.

“Good.” Kendall sighs, and then ads, “I’ll keep you safe tonight.”

James smiles slightly for the first time in days and relaxes against Kendall. The blonde’s grip tightens around him slightly. They stand like that for a moment before Kendall unwilling breaks their hug and says, “Let’s get changed; my mom will be here soon.”

“Okay.” James picks up his clothes but just stands there a moment, clutching his jeans and shirt in his hands. He looks at Kendall briefly, then down at his things again. He feels embarrassed as he utters, “Um, could you…” James bits his lip, unable to finish his request.

Kendall simply smiles sadly and leaves the locker room so James can change.

\- - - 

Mrs. Knight drives the two boys back to the Knight house, chatting with them about school and practice. Kendall does most of the talking so James is able to get away with being silent, only speaking unless directly spoken to and forcing the cheerfulness in his tone. Mrs. Knight doesn’t suspect a thing.

Kendall decides that James should really win an Oscar today.

They finally get to the Knight house, and the boys excuse themselves to go homework when in reality all they want is to be alone. 

Kendall brought it up once again, “You should tell someone.” 

James sighs sadly. “It’s not like I can sue or whatever. I took a shower right after it happened.” he says.

“So?” Kendall asks, not getting the connection.

James sighs again; and Logan called him the slow one? “Remember that movie we watched in health class about…” he stumbles over the word ‘rape’ and instead says, “What happens when stuff like this happens? You’re not supposed to shower because it gets rid of all the evidence.” Kendall remembers and curses under his breath. “Yeah, so all I have to show for it is this.” he gathers his shirt up, raising it slightly - not enough to show Kendall his whole stomach but enough to reveal the faint bruises lined along his hipbones. 

They nauseate Kendall so much, physical proof that James was hurt. And a stab of guilt hits him. What if he stayed? He should’ve stayed - he could’ve stopped this. But he can’t worry about the past right now, he has to fix the present.

He takes a tentative step towards James, closing the gap between them and James tenses up slightly as Kendall places his hand on James’ hip. It covers the bruises completely. He does the same on the other side and looks at James, softly saying, “All gone.”

James smiles but Kendall can still see the hurt in his eyes. Nonetheless, he throws his arms around Kendall’s neck and hugs him tightly. Kendall’s hands remain on James’ hips, holding him closely. 

\- - -

They both go to bed early that night, after dinner and they both opened their homework assignments, deeming it more necessary to just work on it while their teachers call attendance like they do every day. Kendall offers to sleep on the couch, or the floor at least, to make James feel more comfortable, but James asks Kendall to sleep with him. Right after he asks, James’ cheeks flush a bright shade of red and Kendall laughed, but promises to sleep with him. It’s an awkward situation to say the least and Kendall doesn’t know how he’ll react to actually sleeping in the same bed with James for the first time since he had developed feelings for the boy, but he makes a promise to himself to keep his cool. 

He doesn’t do much sleeping anyway, instead he stays up and watches James because he isn’t getting much sleep either. A thin layer of sweat coats the pretty boy’s face and he looks like he’s in so much pain. Kendall holds him as he writhes against the sheets, whimpering and crying out every now and again until he wakes up in an instant of panic, panting and gasping. Kendall just hugs him tightly and tells him that it’s okay. 

After the third time it happens, James lays back down dejectedly and says, “You should go to sleep. It’s going to be hell for you to wake up tomorrow.” 

“I don’t mind.” Kendall replies and hugs him tightly, letting James rest his head on his chest. 

James sighed. “You’re amazing, Kendall.” he murmurs tiredly. Kendall’s cheeks tint pink. “Thank you.” he ads with a yawn.

“For what?” Kendall asks, resting his cheek on the top of James’ head. His hair is soft like a blanket. 

“For making me feel safe.” James says, and smiles a little when Kendall’s arms constrict around him. He likes when Kendall holds him like this; his arms are like a house protecting him, keeping him sheltered, safe. He likes feeling like that, and Kendall’s great at making him feel like that. Kendall’s just… great. 

The blonde doesn’t reply, he just smiles and his lips graze against James’ forehead, kissing him softly. James snuggles closer to him. Kendall wants to say something, tell James how he loves him, tell James that everything will be okay soon, but instead, he just lays there with him until the two of them drift off to sleep with James tightly snug in his arms.


End file.
